I know that for many, this Christmas is not what we hoped for.
Here in the Netherlands, everything is quiet. Primary schools closed a week before the school holidays, then everything closed a week before Christmas. Forget the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future: Omicron is the only spectre looming over our shoulders. And I miss Christmas in Manila so much (and my family, and my old choir) so much that the faintest echo of a choir singing Christmas carols is enough to drive me to the brink of tears. I haven’t been home since 2019.
BUT!
I’ve been deep in the writing cave for the last six weeks. I’m so far in, I barely know what day it is. If I wasn’t looking right at the Christmas tree next to me in the living room, I might have forgotten what month it was. I don’t have a single present wrapped. I haven’t posted anything on Instagram in weeks.
I’m spinning a cocoon of words that muffles sight, sound and all my senses. I’ve never done this before, so part of me is like, oh, so this is what focus is like! Cool, cool.
I finished Chapter 8 in eleven days. Chapter 9 in nine days. Chapter 10 in six days! And now I’m down to Chapter 11. The final chapter of the book.
I’m so close. SO CLOSE.
My plan was to use the momentum and focus I had generated to smash through the final chapter in five days. I promised myself I would finish the first draft of this memoir before the end of 2021—as in, next Friday. But as always, life had other plans.
I promise that when I finally emerge from this cave-cocoon, I will share more about what I’ve written and what I learned as I wrote it. About my big dreams for next year. But right now, thinking anything that’s not the book feels like a superhuman effort.
So for my last letter in 2021, let me simply share these words with you.
I collaborated with the lovely Joyce Lee on the holiday card above. I’m such a fan of Joyce’s beautiful calligraphy, and am so happy she asked me for words to write and release into the world. Here is the full text, with my wishes for you and yours.
May joy be the music that calls you to dance
May laughter be the breath that fills your lungs
May kindness be the touch that warms your skin
May wonder be the stars that fill your night
May love be the dawn that brings you hope
With every good wish
until we meet again.
Merry Christmas, and goodbye 2021! See you on the other side.
With love,
Deepa
Cheers to you for taking a potentially awful time and using that energy to move you forward. I really enjoy your writing and look forward to purchasing the book!